Sunday, September 8, 2013

The caf


I don't remember the first time I told a lie but I do remember the first time I realized I was good at it.

I was 12, an awkward time for any kid but especially for girls. Especially for me. I had a crush on a boy called Daniel Roth. Or Dan, love of my life and future husband and father to my children. 

It was lunch time and the students were in the cafeteria, gossiping. I sat alone, gnawing on a cold peanut butter and honey sandwich my mom had made me. 

"Dan, over here!"

I looked up when I heard his name. I dreamt that after we graduated, he would realize that he was in love with me and we would live happily ever after. But the sound of giggling snapped me out of this delusion.

"Look at Kay staring at Dan."
"She's so weird"
"I heard that she tried to kiss Mike by his locker and he ran away."

My cheeks grew hot, like a pig roasting on a spit. Dan sat down with his guy friends and didn't look at me. Why would he? I was the weird girl who didn't like to wear makeup but loved to play the witch in the school play.

I lowered my head and concentrated on the sandwich. The honey was hard and stuck to my teeth. I shuddered as my nails scrapped against my gums and I tasted blood. 

The girls whispered behind my back. I felt sick of this daily torture so I got up and walked towards Jean Carlaw, a mini Brigitte Bardot.

"What do you want, freak?" Jean asked.
It took me all my courage to reply.

"Mr. Graham thinks you're a bad student. He told me when he drove me home yesterday."
Jean's eyes went wide, her pretty mouth shaped into an 'O.' She snapped back.
"Why would Mr. Graham talk to a freak like you? Yeah right he drove you home. You wish."
"Fine, don't believe me. But if I were you, I would try to get on his good side."

As soon as I saw the fear in Jean's eyes, I knew I could get away with anything.